To Invite or Not To Invite?

Curating a guest list for your wedding can be a daunting task. You don’t want to offend others, but you also need to be sure that you don’t go over the allotted number of people for your venue. 

So how do you decide who makes the cut? 

We’ve got you covered with tips, tricks, and questions to ask yourself to be sure you’re including everyone you want!

Know Your Limit

The first step to forming your guest list is knowing your budget. 

It can seem unnecessary, but having an idea of whether you’re budgeting for 200 or 400 people will guide a lot of your guest list decisions. 

You don’t have to know the exact number just yet, so don’t fret if your budget isn’t finalized. 

You just need a rough estimate of how many guests your venue will be able to hold. 

Start Small and Work Up

Once you know how many people you expect to invite, form a list with your fiance of must-invites. This includes immediate family and close friends beyond those who will be in the bridal party. 

From there, branch out to extended family as well as any other friends who you know you absolutely do not want to miss your big day. 

Once you have this part of your guest list done, count how many spots you have remaining. 

Now it’s time to contact your parents and/or future in-laws to see who they want to invite. 

Pro-tip: give each side of the family half of the number of spaces remaining or a number of guests that they cannot exceed. This way your family can determine who gets the invite and who doesn’t without you having to be the bearer of bad news!

If you find you are approaching the number of guests your venue can fit, make a separate list of those who you would feel comfortable adding later. 

That way you can always invite them once you have a clearer idea of how many people will actually be attending! But be careful – these invitations should be sent well enough in advance that they can actually attend – and don’t feel like a last resort.

Questions, Questions

We know it’s hard to figure out who not to include, especially when you have so many loved ones you want to be at your nuptials! 

But we have a few questions you must ask yourself to navigate those muddy waters of who won’t be getting an invite.

First, have you seen or spoken to them in the past year? You’re a busy person, and so are your friends and family! 

But if you haven’t seen or had an extended conversation with someone in over a year, that may be a good indicator that someone you see more often should make the cut instead. 

Next, were you invited to their wedding (if they’re married), and if so, when was it? 

Of course you want to invite those who have invited you! However, if you weren’t invited to their wedding or if their wedding was over two years ago, don’t feel obligated to give them an invite to yours.

Another point of confusion for many couples when it comes to guest lists is whether or not to give someone a “plus one.” While some will say “no ring, no invite,” this is an outdated rule of thumb. 

We suggest extending plus ones to those in serious relationships especially if you know and are familiar with the significant other. And who knows? They could be next, and we know you’ll want to celebrate their big day too!

We know it’s hard to think about not including someone on your big day, but they’ll love hearing about it the next time you see them! You’ll still feel their love and joy for you even if they can’t be present. 


You’ve made your guestlist, and now you’ll know who will be celebrating your big day with you!

Check back next month for your next steps, and in the meantime, visit to find out more about what The Sadie Jane has to offer.

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